Hardcore Johnny's Dating Rules

1. Most guys are dumb, but most girls are more retarded for not realizing. Ladies, if a sexy girl in a mini skirt came up to me and offered me a drink for $9 in a bar I'd probably buy it. That's why the liquor companies hire you. The guy who knows how dumb he is has power. The girl who realizes how dumb her suitor is has the power.

2. "alcohol has been a social lubricant for 20,000 years . Don't try to reinvent the wheel" -the Movie Rodger Dodger- Things work out better between men and woman when varying degree's of alcohol is involved. Sometimes girls get drunk 'cause they want to get a little sloppy and get "taken advantage of" and sometimes guys need a little "bravery in a bottle".

2a. When I say "taking advantage of" I don't mean drunken rape. I mean taking advantage of lowered inhabitations and lowered standards. Remember its only cool as long as every one is having a good time

3. Its ok to stare! That's how the other person knows you like them even if they're not quick enough to pick that up. When they ask why you're staring, woweee you've started a conversation!

4. Always leave 'em wanting more. Show a mouse a block of cheese and only give 'em a tiny bit, he'll keep coming back for more

5. Never say or do more then you have to. If you blow your load all at once, how will you ever top that or even maintain that? (ex. on the first date you blow your whole paycheck on dinner, drinking, and dancing, then head to a coffee shop and talk all night about your life where you been where your going yadda yadda ... what do you do date 2? You're fucking broke and you've already told her your life story!

6. Boyfriend is girl code for place holder. No guy is safe from this rule, you always, ALWAYS have to be better then the competition whether you're trying to steal a girl (see life rule 6) or trying to keep her.

7. Girls like sex too, because sex is good. This is the 21'st century by now guys you should have guess that girls like fuckin too!

7a. Guys I don't know about you, but all I need is a wet hole and 10 minutes to get off. The mark of great sex is how much your lady liked it.
7b. If your girlfriend isn't in the mood you're doing something wrong! Time to kick it up a notch or start killing the competition (see dating rule 6).